


in the absence of everything (i promise to keep you warm)

by clytemnestras



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/F, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 07:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6186496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clytemnestras/pseuds/clytemnestras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>‘What’s it like,’ asks The Moon late in the dream, ‘to kiss everyone you touch?'</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>And the Sun never answers, never ever ever.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	in the absence of everything (i promise to keep you warm)

**Author's Note:**

> the prompt: _pacify ~~her~~ him, he's getting on my nerves / you don't love him, stop lying with those words_
> 
>  
> 
> ~~which is what i think when early season dan is onscreen tbh~~

The girl in the mirror always wants attention, otherwise she doesn't exist. She's Tinkerbelle. She's the the idealised version of you - or she’s the version of you that you drag around behind, hoping she’s not detected.

 

Sometimes, the girl in the mirror is Blair, catching on the ends of Serena’s sunkissed ponytail. 

 

*

 

_ ‘What’s it like,’ asks The Moon late in the dream, ‘to kiss everyone you touch?' _

 

_ And the Sun never answers, never ever ever. _

 

*

 

Dan Humphrey is, frankly, the reason God allows the spread of infectious disease. Or, rather, he’s disease manifested in a boy attached to Serena’s throat like he might burrow in. Blair passes her coffee cup between her hands and takes periodic sips, Nate’s hand resting on the top of her thigh. 

 

“A year in exile”, she rests her head on Nate’s shoulder, “and I get left with the scraps of time left over once  _ Hemingway _ has had his fill.” She burrows her head into the crook of Nate’s shoulder, and he fixes her hair where it musses. “Am I not worth more than that?”

 

“This is new for Serena, you’ve gotta give her some time.” Nate kisses the top of her head and steals the coffee from between her hands.

 

_ I was new once too,  _ is what she doesn’t say.

 

*

 

_ ‘Is it because they fall in love so quickly with you’, the Moon asks again, ‘that you kiss them to try and hold on?’ _

 

*

 

The summer before - and this is what nobody on pain of death may know - is that Serena fell asleep with her body pressed all along Blair’s side, face turned into her throat, warmth seeping from girl to girl.

 

What you don’t know is, this wasn’t the first time, and Blair wouldn’t let it be the last. 

 

What you don’t know is that their bare legs were tangled all hot and close, their sweaty hands familiar along the other’s small hips. What you don’t know is that they kissed good night for eight long minutes, barely pulling up for breath. 

 

*

 

_ The Sun is waiting too, that’s the problem. The Sun is waiting for something to come and warm her up, and the poor Moon can do nothing but slide her warmth back. _

 

*

 

“Do you have a problem with me, Blair? Have I hurt you somehow?” Dan has his fingers wiping smudgy marks all over a copy of  _ Tipping the Velvet. _

 

“Oh Humphrey, you  _ nothing  _ me. Tell Serena I have no interest in playing nice with her boy of the week.” She smiles and rams her shoulder into his as she walks back toward Constance, fixing the band in her hair. “Oops - and oh, do tell me how you find the book. Most excitement you’ve probably seen your whole life.”

 

“Blair, wait -”

 

She turns to face him, all sweaty and hungry and try-hard and  _ boy _ . “What? I’m clearly too busy to be fraternising with what is for all intents and purposes  _ the enemy. _ ” 

 

He digs his fingernails into the hem of his sweater. Writer’s fingers. Inkstained, slightly frayed. “When it’s just you and her, do you ever feel like… like Serena is already ahead ready for whatever new adventure flits past?”

 

_ You’re not an adventure, you’re a symptom of rehab.  _ “Oh, look at that, gotta run - but good luck with that.”

 

*

 

_ The thing is, the Moon was only ever warm when the Sun moved her way - that’s how physics works, right? It’s just reflection.  _

 

*

  
  


There are three blonde hairs tangled in Blair’s hairbrush. Just three. Her charmed life somehow begging for fairytale wonder.

 

In the fairytale, the pixie, the mirror-girl, the bitterness-spice-and-unlovely-delights girl would pluck them from the bristles and magick them into the princess and she would kiss her and claim her breathlessly awake.

 

In the fairytale, clichés fracture under the press of gentle fingers and flutter under the fabric that falls to the floor.

 

Blair pulls out the hairs and flushes them down the toilet, humming under her breath.

 

*

 

_ The danger is in the days where the Sun turns away from the cosmos and let's the Moon spread out and cover her. _

 

_ The Moon draws soft patterns along the edges of the Sun’s warmth and has to decide if she thinks she can get up again. Whether this is a dream or a reality makes no difference to them. _

 

*

 

Serena’s forehead brushes Blair’s throat when they lie together, sunken in the centre of the bed, wetly painted toes air-drying out in front of them.

 

_ This is mine, _ Blair thinks, tracing a strand of Serena’s hair.  _ We belong to each other first and the world afterwards. _

 

“B,” Serena’s voice is a low rumble pressed almost against Blair’s skin. “Did you miss this?”

 

Blair lets her fingers pass through Serena’s hair, combing gently through the waves. “I missed you, S. Don't leave again, ever.”

 

It’s petulant and silly but Serena glances up at her, heavy-lidded and soft and leans forward so their mouths touch.

 

It’s a kiss like coming home. Blair sighs and opens up for Serena, taking the softness of the kiss for whatever Serena will allow. 

 

Blair slides her fingers into Serena’s hair and tugs up so they’re lined up right, Serena's body and gentle weight on her hips, Serena’s mouth warm on hers. Their legs slide together, Serena balances her weight carefully as she settles on one of Blair’s thighs and they sink together. 

 

“Oh”, Serena manages, and pulls back.

 

Blair cups her cheek. “What is it S?”

 

“I shouldn't - Dan…”

 

“It's just me, S,” Blair strokes her fingers along Serena’s jaw. “He doesn't matter right now, it's okay if it’s just me. Always just me and you, okay?” She draws Serena down for another kiss.

  
_ Just us, _ she thinks.  _ Just me and you. _

**Author's Note:**

> come chat with me on tumblr [@bohemicns](https://) if you feel so inclined


End file.
